晨風
沒雨荷

殘華幾何？

( 藏花仙人自傳 )

Tags: drafts, frost moon, writings

殘夏許許不知眠
逗染蒼日續從前
纖色褪盡充華少
自消自福自如天

Tags: poetry, writings

Train

I see the reflections on the large panes of glass. Man with cap reading newspaper, man sitting with his arms crossed, lady wearing glasses reading a book, and a young man playing a portable game console.

The train entered the dark tunnel, leaving the brightly lit station behind. Another train now comes from the opposite direction. The two trains speeding past each other in the dark tunnel. The slivers of light from the other train blending in with the reflections on the cart windows. Then for a split second, it seemed as if the two trains have collided onto the same track and have become one.

Are they really heading in opposite directions?


Queue

I was given the chance to queue up in line at the centre. My ticket says A74. A beep sounded from overhead. The monitor reads D14. The seats are full so I stood aside. A beep sounded again. A64. Ten people in queue before me, I thought. Then another beep. C23. I looked around in confusion, wondering why the numbers jump back and forth. "The alphabets represent the case type," a lady beside me speaks up. I nodded in acknowledgement and appreciation, noticing the desks are not selective on which cases they process. Ten people with type A case are in queue before me. Unknown number of people with other types of case are in queue before me.

The beeps keep sounding at irregular intervals. I looked up to check every time a desk is cleared. A71. A72. Man stood up from his seat. A lady carrying a baby sat down to wait for her queue. F32. Six types. D27. The lady stood up and walked to the just cleared desk, baby still quiet in her arms. A73. A man dropped his documents. I started bending down to help but he was already picking them up. A few more beeps. Finally, A74. Still standing, I smiled.

And everything fell into place.


Berries

Old man greeted me with a big smile and invited me into his home. The old lady smiled at me and waved at me from her seat in the sofa. Jane, or was it Joan? Embarrassingly, I could never remember. They said it is alright and urged me to sit down. My drawing of their beloved dog is sitting on top of a shelf, and a photograph I took of a sidewalk is sitting on another. The chat was mostly pleasant, except for where they informed me Bark has recently passed away. Dear Barkie, the dog I thought would keep the old couple's company for a long time. The old lady's body condition has been progressively getting worse, he says. A nurse is to start coming to their home everyday in order to take care of her, he says. She smiled at me. I know she does not want me to worry. I hugged her. Then hugged both of them, not knowing what else to do. Outside is summer time. Chirping can be heard through the closed windows. The old man told me the birds love their tree. Their mulberry tree. I have never had mulberries before. He stood up and insisted I try some today. Geared with a small used butter container, the old man led the way out of the house. I held out my arm and helped the old lady walk down the short stairs.

The tree shades us from the blazing sunlight. I quite enjoy the breeze. The old man skillfully reached up and grabbed a handful of berries off the tree. I try to pick the ripened ones. He chuckled, saying I don't need to be so careful, that I can just drop the underripe ones on the ground. We filled the small container all too soon. After a quick wash, I took one from the pile and put it in my mouth. Juicy, but not very sweet. Not bitter, but it has a dry sour taste. I took another, rolling the tips on my tongue. The old man helped the old lady to some mulberries, then started enjoying his share. The chirping continues. I looked out at the dense tree, trying to spot the well hidden birds.

At least we share something in common.

Tags: drafts, me, mirror

我想我可以自稱為YY高人（在此主要指男男YY）。我曾經在看一篇戚顧文時YY其中兩位出場次數寥寥可數的自創男配角。在文的回復中把這想法說出來的時候就連作者本人都稱奇。不過那也沒有什麽，畢竟文字上的東西，只要沒有特別寫明外表年齡，還是可以YY成一堆美男。但是有點佩服自己可以只因爲“大致情況”便把兩個人YY到一起去……我想有的私人配對如果說出來，很有可能會被某些人的吐沫淹死。

以上。

以下嘛，當然是要說說那些讓我自己也覺得有點不好意思說出來的配對~

1. 毛澤東和周恩來……是的，我還是先把這個令我都覺得有點無奈的放上來吧……很早以前（可能比我知道BL的含義還要早幾年）我就覺得周恩來是毛澤東背後的那個默默付出的男人。如果要打個（不是很對秤的）比例，可以說有那麽一丁點像 Hephaestion 于 Alexander 那樣。而且鑒于周恩來去世後數月毛澤東也隨他而去，還真有點因爲“最重要的人已離我而去”而鬱鬱而終的滋味。這是我小時候的理解，現在看來當然他們兩人之間的感情並不那麽“純樸”。暗潮，是少不了的，而他們兩人的一生也並不像中國政府刻畫得那麽光明精彩。可惜我對某些歷史有關的事不是很感興趣，而其中的真實狀況只有他們本人知道，所以也就不深究了。

2. 周瑜和黃蓋……這個，我當時對古史一無所知，而這兩個人的典故和現代人對此典故的運用方法又是那麽容易挑起異念……會聯想在一起也不能怪我啦！不過當我知道黃蓋是大叔級人物以及略聞周瑜的背景後便很難再把兩人拉在一起。第一個擊破我幻想的是《火鳳燎原》，雖説裏面的某些描寫有的是各種錯亂（其實很佩服陳某運用artistic license），但還是不得不讓我承認這個配對的可行性其實並不那麽高。不過看吧，就因一句“一個願打、一個願挨”便可YY，真是太亂來了……

3. 木村武元和李小龍……最近奶奶來了，她只看國語頻道，而其中一個片子便是什麽《李小龙傳奇》。個人認爲（各處情節漏洞及整體感覺的陳舊/古老感不說）這片子演繹手法偏誇張（大多數演員都演得很奇怪），外加全是說國語或國語配音（是的，因爲所有的西人都說得一口流利的國語……這是在拍語言教學片嗎？），看著一般般。而我本來對李小龍就沒有什麽興趣。以前對他的最深的印象是他那瘦型身軀及他打鬥時發出的令人聼了恨不得耳朵長水泡化膿導致失聰的叫喊聲（好吧，沒有那麽嚴重，不過的確是覺得有點做作）。斷斷續續陪奶奶看了幾集後便覺得木村武元真是不容易啊！好一個標準的忠犬/木頭攻，一直在旁默默地守候著那個還不是很成熟（加上有點風流）的李小龍。我覺得木村武元是這部片子裏唯一一個我認同的人/角色。真實情況嘛~我覺得他的付出並不比李小龍的少……起碼李小龍有“自己人”支持自己做想做的事情，而木村武元卻是因爲要做自己想做的事情而被“自己人”嫌棄……嗯，就是這樣~

以上是真實人物配對~

Tags: bl

子夜月凡遙相望
舊恨新仇有幾場
再逢故人殊途歸
生死皆然兩茫茫

Tags: poetry, writings

酌吟多情人不還
愧卻冬淚寄離窗
墨展長夜未央盡
驟感春風道滄桑

Tags: poetry, writings

淺偎畔苔憶醉柳，不煩艷鳥識春秋。

Tags: poetry, writings

Lately I keep having the feeling that I might've passed my peak (which I shouldn't feel). Creative and otherwise. I got tired over the years. Half truth, half excuse. I think it's time I get my old self back and do what I set out to do since I was 12. Or maybe even 10. It's been too long.

Far too long already.

Tags: me
State of Mind: Determined.

露角凝至，爍馨薕，未哀。哀鴻即，詠讚匯，近孺臺。臺上，墮如時，又憶春日。

Tags: poetry, writings

Dear Diary,

For the record, I did not do anything wrong this time. I tried to take it back but it was being drawn further away from me. However, I'm really sorry that my attitude upset anyone at all, let alone him of all people. I'm in an even worse mood now, if that makes up for anything.

Yours sincerely,
C

Location: me, help